Yearning

It's strange but I've been thinking about Honey and Clover these past days. There is this certain scene in the series that kept playing in my head over and over, which was a big bother to me until now. It's that scene when Rika was reminiscing the time she and Harada went to her hometown. For some reason I feel a yearning for someone to do the same thing Harada did to Rika.

For weeks, I've been feeling sad about something (or someone) and I can't really explain why or how I ended up feeling that way. It's annoying that I just want to cry and have someone hug me saying...

I skipped a line in this scene, by the way.

I guess I miss having someone I could cry on and tell all my problems to since I don't open up that often anymore. Earlier, I was listening to a song and suddenly started crying that I had to run to my room so that the maid wouldn't see me. For those few minutes, while the song was playing, I sobbed... Remembering the pain of losing something precious, which only lasted for 3 months because of a foolish thing I did.

Later on, my brother said to me, straight-forwardly "Dude, move on. It's over. You can't expect anything from nothing. I know it's hard and depressing but yeah, at some point, I have to say this straight out 'cause it's been too long." He does have a point that, indeed, it has been too long even Gerard agreed with what he said. Almost 2 years and I'm still not over him, that's why my brother said that straight to my face, even though those words hurt me, he's right. The guy is his best friend after all.

This is what I imagined when my brother said it straight to my face

What I'm feeling, right now, is the same as how Yamada felt when Nomiya was speaking out the truth about what she really wanted to happen between Mayama and Rika. Except, I do not wish for anything bad to happen to him with his future girlfriend. (whoever she may be)

Be Loyal. PERIOD.

I just finished watching a movie titled Fireproof which my friend, Gerard, shared. I had no idea what it was about, but my sister told me that it's a nice Christian movie and indeed, it was. I think this was the first time a movie made me cry, almost as much as I cried during those heartbreaking periods. The movie was a blessing for it gave me inspiration, not only for this blog post but also for my future marriage.

"Son, God loves you, even though you don't deserve it. Even though you've rejected Him." That was one of the lines that touched me because it's something that is happening in real life. For a relationship to work, it doesn't mean getting a reward out of loving the person. For it to work, you have to love like God. You love the person not because you feel like it, but because you made a decision to love that person whether he or she doesn't deserve it. As I was watching the movie, it made me realize that having a Christ-centered relationship is really important, especially in marriage. Also, it reminded me of yesterday's talk in The Feast.

The talk was about Loyalty. Bro. Jon Escoto shared a lot of stories relating to it, but there was this one story that was very similar to the one Bro. Bo Sanchez shared almost 3 years ago. I remembered it very clearly because it was a blog post that I published back then. The title of that post was Faithfulness.* Listening to that story felt nostalgia, yet it made me want to cry because that man remained loyal to his sick wife, even though she has already been hurting him by not remembering who he is. Another thing that Bro. Jon shared was that True Love is beyond feelings. Even though we lose the feeling, we can still continue to love the person.

This weekend was a really big blessing for me because not only it was a perfect timing that the movie was somewhat related to yesterday's talk, but also I met a good friend who actually has an interest in things like these. It's cool that my best friend, Enzo, introduced me to Gerard and I hope we continue to grow an awesome friendship.

Thanks a lot Gerard for sharing Fireproof with me! It was a very inspiring movie. =)

*Even though it has a few grammatical errors, I choose not to edit it.

Ozine Fest 2013

It's that time of the year, wherein Megamall is super crowded for 3 days because of the Ozine Fest. This is my 3rd year to attend the event and unlike in the previous years, I was alone. Actually, I was having second thoughts of going but then I remembered ordering a customized bagtag from The Keybie Café, (chose 'meet-up at a convention' as my mode of delivery) so I had to push myself to attend. Also, one of my friends mentioned that he was going to compete in 2 games and I did say that I was going to support him.

When I arrived the venue, the lines to the ticket booth and entrance weren't that long, but it was already crowded inside the hall. While looking for the booth of The Keybie Café, I was trying to spot my friend since I wasn't able to get his cellphone number (talk about fail) but in the end, I didn't get to see him. Also, the bagtag I ordered wasn't finished on time but the owner said that she'll deliver it to me for free. (Yey!)

So I got some brochures upon entering the convention and just bought two cellphone charms. I left the place at 3pm because it was getting too crowded, my right thigh got a sprain (probably because of my morning exercise) and I promised my grandmother that I would get a haircut today.

As much as I would want to type more about my day, it's just too long and I feel tired due to lack of proper rest these past weeks. 

To sum it up, this year's Ozine Fest wasn't fun since I was alone but the result of my haircut made me feel better and the feeling became greater when my grandmother brought home a sunflower, which she got from a party, and gave it to me! So this wasn't a really bad day, after all.

P.S. I wasn't able to take pictures of the event

Bent Stem

I was just inspired by one of the episodes of Honey and Clover, and I didn't want this inspiration to go to waste. So I stopped watching for a while to work on this blog post.

In the episode, Ayumi shares a story about her plant being bent into two due to a typhoon. When her mother saw it, she said “That won’t stand up straight anymore, so break it off at the crease. If you do that, new shoots will grow from there and you’ll have beautiful new leaves in no time.” but Ayumi was hesitant in breaking it off because she could see that the tiny leaves, on the tip of the bent stem, were still healthy. A few days later, the plant eventually wilted in the soil. If she listened to what her mother said, the plant would have lived.

The plant is just like us. We start off as a seed and grow but during the growth, obstacles get in the way. No matter how beautifully we grow, there would always be a typhoon passing by to break us. Even if it hurts, the best way to live is to let go and let a new sprout grow or else we will just wilt, and eventually die.

It's like having a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You grow as the days go by, but once a typhoon (say it be a break up or the person left you) hits, the stem breaks. Those who wouldn't want to let go, end up being weighed down by the negative feelings and wilt as time goes by. No one wants to be an ugly plant, but that's how some people are because of the burdens they carry in their life. So break off the bent stem. Yes, it will hurt to let go but you have to put an end to it, and let a new sprout grow.

That episode sure reminded me of how I was months ago. I had someone special and after we broke up, I thought things would be well between us, even if we were just friends. However, I felt nonexistent to him so I decided to cut off the connection, hoping that he wouldn't try to contact me in the future. It did hurt, at first, but I felt better later on because he was a bent stem that I just had to break off.

For now, I want to enjoy being single.

* I print-screened the photos from the episode, itself, since I couldn't find any nice plant pictures.

Summer break (so far)

It has been 3 weeks of summer break and I'm already bored of it. Last week, I was feeling depressed because it took me about 3-4 days to finish watching all 4 seasons (including the OVA and picture drama) of Zero no Tsukaima, and I didn't know what to do anymore. There were times I wanted to cry but my eyes wouldn't let me. Until now, I can't get over the series because of the kind of relationship Saito & Louise have. As much as I want to share about it, I'll just save it for another day since I have a close friend who hasn't watched the series (yet) and I wouldn't want to spoil her.

I was thinking of watching Honey and Clover next. After that, I don't know. I'm more into anime shows in the genre: school, fantasy, military, romance and/or slice of life. If you know any anime with those genre, please let me know, I'm open for suggestions. Thank you in advance!