It's that time of the year again, wherein I go through an emotional roller coaster not knowing if I am just overthinking things or the past is hitting me in the face. It just so happens that these events occur within July to September. Sadly, my birthday is within those months.
For the past weeks, there were random times I would start crying because of a feeling that keeps penetrating my heart and lungs until my eyes could no longer bring out tears. The pain results to me having lack of sleep and swollen eyes that I have to make up a dumb excuse like "I just read a sad story last night." and add a smile with that statement to make it more convincing. Sometimes, I just keep quiet and focus on my work. This is probably the feeling of emptiness or abandonment (or maybe both). It's strange I'm having the same feelings I had 2 years ago but the events back then were worse because I made myself look like a fool for 2 months believing in something that was no longer there.
Nothing to worry, I'm sure this feeling will disappear soon since it is already mid-August meaning, I'm already half way through the misery season. I just hope that I'll be able to sleep properly next week.
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